Editors' Meeting

Last night I dined with four, intelligent, New York City, magazine editors. I arrived at a small midtown Manhattan, Italian bistro, about 15 minutes late and found them in light conversation and laughing sporadically.

These women, all in their late twenties, depicted a less flashy scene from some Sex and The City episode. I couldn't help but think, "when does the Black, Muslim girl appear in that scene...oh yeah, she doesn't!"

I chuckled under my breath and without hesitation said hi. With a warm welcome, I was invited to take the empty seat on the left, towards the end of the table. As I removed my coat, I strained to hear the discussion and quickly realized that the piano player, immediately next to us, was only getting louder.

I finally settled in and came to realize what the conversation was about.

"So how do you know he saw your Post-it note," one editor asked the other, sitting closest to me.

"You actually wrote down the type of ring you wanted, on a Post-it note?" another asked quickly. "Well did you ask for at least one carat?"

"Yeah," she responded with a large grin. "I did."

Heads flew back and arms flew up, as laughter erupted at the table.

"Ok, so you're definitely getting more than one carat," yelled the origonal inquirer. "What's your setting going to be like?"

The conversation gradually evolved to cousins, co-workers and best friends coming out, lengthy commutes and the pains of purchasing property in New YorkCity. There was a joyous pregnancy announcement, side discusion about MA and PhD programs and before the night was up, we were talking once again about the men in our lives.

Ahhh the topic of relationships...often discussed, often by women. Now, I'm no Carrie Bradshaw, but I must ask... is it overrated? Are the fairytale relationships real or do they just exist in the minds of imaginative women. I mean, are we women just fooling our selves, or are our creative hints to the men in our lives the sure path to our happiness?

"You have to understand that men and women speak different languages," said my good friend from Washington D.C. , a young father of two and knowlegable beyond his years. "They [relationships] can work, you just have to understand how to speak the language. I mean a guy may really love a woman, but he'll express it much differently than she will," he added.

That said, maybe some one needs to offer a course on the languages of the sexes, because I'm not the only woman that doesn't get it. If women don't read the signs properly could we possibly jeopardize something that's really going well, or possibly remain in a relationship that's going no where?

"Well, I wouldn't say it's easy," advised my one time college roommate and life long friend from upstate. "I mean, it takes alot of effort," she added speaking of her marriage. "It's emotional and hard work...but I'd say it's worth it."

Another amazing point, taken strait from my mamma's mouth, but a dreaded reminder for those who want the easy way out.

So relationships are hard, are a lot a work, are extremely emotional; but we do it. We talk about doing it, gloat when it's good and complain when it sucks. We dream about that special day, the ring, the wedding dress, the house, and the baby while that man is probably scared to death at the thought of such responsibility.

But we do it. Don't we? Despite the less than perfect reality.

"So how's your boyfriend doing?" I asked one of the editors last night, after our plates were collected and our food was digesting. "How's he likeing school?"

"Well," she hesitated. "He's not in school now. He left. Said it was killing him! And I don't want him to die," she said with a chuckle. "So he's teaching, you know, he's a little confused right now. "But," she said with a smile. "That's my confused man."

I smiled back, sincerely.

How could I not?